It's all hidden.

ok ok ok ok ok...went to Naked Shoppe again today wif Jess da chicken rice freak..haha..we shared a chicken chop n had a chocolate fondue each..damn nice lah da fondue..not too sweet...da chicken chop sucked though..dis is da second time we gone to eat dat fondue..was quite shocked dat she actually had FEELINGS man n sort of understood how i felt sia..haha..i had always tot of her of an unfeelin gal hu walks aroung broodin all day..i respected u for dat jess n den,u showed feelings..there goes my respect for u..muahahahahahaha...

n i noticed dat jess kept lookin at me when i was seriously doin my work..i noe u find me attractive n cool when i do my work..hehe..someones got a cruch on me.........hahaha..dun try to deny ok..i saw u droolin juz now..lolx..(for those of u out there who is beginnin to think we're lesbians,we're not!)

anywayz,nothin much in skool nowadays..juz TONNES of projects lah..damn boring sia!oh ya,learnt how to put on a condom today..lolx..things i do for da sake of nursin..n guess wad?da dummy had to use da XXL sheath sia!can u imagine..haha..n miss bella was like so funny when she explained to us wad to do when da guys get an erection when we're puttin on da condom..hahahahaha....ok..im sick i noe..

hahaha..a commandment to follow..thou shall be quick when puttin on a sheath for a guy..LOLX

fad's told you a secret at 8:27 PM .

STOP!pls stop cryin..pls..im beggin u..i cant live in a place where some1 is cryin all da time..i really cant ..i've tried but i really cant..i dunno y but i get depressed too whenever i c u cry..i really really wish u cld juz stop..u say u wanna move house..have u thought abt me?has any1 of u ever thought abt me?wad gd does it make to uproot our lives n move to somewhere else?he's still gone..livin in a new place wont change dat fact..dis is more den enough for me to deal wif n now im supposed to do it in a new environment?i like where we're livin in right now..i dun c da need to move..i dun wanna move..there's juz too many memories here..maybe dats y u wanna leave..
i will go though if dat is wad u really want..if dat will make u feel better,i will move wif u..i juz want things to b like wad they used to be..i guess dats stupid coz it'll never happen..i have to live in a world of darkness now..i wish i was da 1 hu had gone coz i seriously believe u'll be less sad..u were so close wif him..n to have dat taken away..
i noe im selfish at times..but i have no choice..there's is no 1 here to take care of me..i have to take care of myself..i have to appear strong in front of u n appear happy in front of da rest of da world..n im so tired of doin dat now..i wish u could understand me..i wish some1 could understand me..

fad's told you a secret at 12:22 PM .

hey,went to bugis AGAIN today..wif jess dis time..went to cut my hair there..da place is called RAWKZ or somethin like dat..JESS helped me choose da hairstyle..actually,it was more of her n da stylist creation..not bad lah dat jess,quite talented in hairstylin..so,i juz sat there like a moron while they discussin wad to do wif my hair..haha..stupid but true..but,in da end,it was quite nice lah..jess made sure dat person did a gd job n not juz anyhow trim..if not my mom will say i waste money again..at da end of it all,i wanna thank ms jelly leg for her help..THANKS JESS!(for those of u out there hu is clueless abt wad to do wif ur hair,ask jess..)hehe..chiao peeps :p

fad's told you a secret at 9:01 PM .

today,went out wif vic n sal..went to sgh first in da mornin to sign da bond thingy..after dat went to bugis..been quite a long time since i been there..everythin is da same lah..vic bought a pair of pants n den she bought a charmbracelet for each of us..hoe sweet..thanks vic..

we walked ard a little bit den i saw dis stall sellin perfume..da bottles seems cute so we went there to c..da gal there asked sal if she wanted to smell da perfume..she asked sal ONLY ok!she didnt ask me..sal didnt wanna smell so she said dun wan so da gal put da thing down n walked away..i picked da thing up aft ahe took da FEW steps away n smelt it..i DIDNT even ask for her assistance ok!i was mindin my own business when she walked to da front n fuckinly said in MANDARIN to her fren "juz now i ask them to smell they dun wanna smell!now den they wanna smell!"..MOTHERFUCKIN piece of CRAP!i wanna smell ur prob izzit!im ur bloody customer ok n u still gimme fuckin attitude!
so,after hearin da bitch's comment,i said "dis is BAD service!LETS GO!"..i threw her a dirty glance n she actually dare to diao(dunno correct spellin anot)sia..can u belive dat motherfuckin bitch!DAMN her!luckily i was very tired sia if not she sure kena frm me already..
i really cant stand bad service man..these type of ppl should juz go home n wash their ass or somethin..if ur not willing to fake a smile den dun join sales idiotic bitch!..DAMN CB!

fad's told you a secret at 9:23 PM .

today i spent da entire day wif jess..we were like supposed to do dis journal thing for 1028..SUX lah!ppl finished it within a few hrs n we took like a few days..haha..probably its becoz we're like crappin wif each other abt 90% of da time..lolx..we were like tokin abt fuckin things dat was totally irrelevant n things dat humans dun usually tok abt..but,i goota admit it was quite fun lah..did u hear me jess,i ADMIT i had fun OK?haha..n pls lah,i DIDN'T purposely drag da project so dat i can c u everyday ok!i think dats wad ur doin though..hehehe..anywayz,gonna cut my hair on sunday wif jess..hope there will actually b a change n not juz like a 2inch dif..haha..erm,nth else to write already..so,i dunno..how do u usually end a blog?hehe..
(i noe i sound like a bimbo but i swear im not 1..i'm juz not used to bloggin..)

fad's told you a secret at 10:34 PM .

went to da police station today..crap sia..oni 1 person askin so had to wait for 1hr+ before my turn to give my statement..ok lah..not as bad as i thought..juz go in n answer qn oni..
they couldn't find da cause of death..so,basically,i dunno y my bro died..WTF!but nvm lah..guess God loves him more den we do..really miss him..
msg to all u peeps out there..treasure ur siblings..they may be da most irritatin creature in da face of dis planet n they do most stupidest things but u will really be lost without them..wish i had more time wif him..

fad's told you a secret at 8:14 PM .

1 month ago..

1+am:
-i felt like i was havin a fever
-i called home usin my hp thinkin dat u might pick it up n get me some medicine..u didnt
-i went out of my room,sick,i saw ur lights on,i ignored it..
-i went to mom's room n woke her up,asked her to get me some medicine
-she got up n took it
-she passed da medicine to me n tried to go in ur room..
-it was locked,she took da key..
-u were on da floor..she thought u were sleepin..she scolded u for not shuutin da windows..
-she called u to get on da bed..no response..she called again..nothin..
-she got scared n yelled for dad..he came runnin n i did too..
-i saw u on da floor..bloated n blue..
-i ran to my room to get my hp n called an ambulance..
-i ran back to ur room,i took ur pulse..nothin..
-i was scared but i didnt dare show it..mom is panickin..
-dad n i started givin cpr..
-again,nothin..
-i knew u were gone but i didnt wanna believe it..
-da ambulance came n did somethin to ur body..no response..
-they took u away..mom followed da ambulance..i went wif dad on his bike..
-at tan tock seng,we waited for da doctors to come out..
-he came n said..u were gone..
-mom was screamin..
-grandma was breathless..
-i started to tear..somehow it all seems real oni aft da doctor said it was true..
-we were brought to c u..
-u looked so peaceful..like u were sleepin..
-i kissed ur forehead,it was cold..so cold..

12+pm:
-u came home..they put u in mom's room..
-i looked at u..u were smilin..u seem like how u used t look when u pretend to sleep when i walked in ur room..
-i cried..
-the gave u ur last shower n lay u at the hall..where we would see u for da last time..
-i kissed ur forehead again..cold..
-i wiped my tears..u were leavin..
-i didnt have da strength to follow u to ur final restin place..
-i was sick,i didnt want ppl to worry abt me there..

now:
-u've been gone for a month..
-i miss u so much..
-our memories often play in my mind..both gd n bad..
-funny how our arguments seems so silly now..
-i want u to noe dat i will take care of mom n dad..dun worry..
-i noe u were proud dat i was to become a nurse..i will be a gd 1 for u..
-i noe dat i've never said this before but i want u to noe dat...
-i love u..

fad's told you a secret at 8:54 PM .

hmm..i'm finally gonna start bloggin properly now..val created a blog for me n now i have to update it.no choice!but its ok..since she helped me create a blog da least i can do is update it rite?so,thanks val! :)

lets see,today..had a break dat was 6hrs long!can u believe it..6hrs!so,to occupy da time,being da gd student i am,i went to town wif da crew to watch Slither..damn fuck man..it was soooooooo boring...juz a few shockin moments..its ok lah coz watchin jess got shocked is like so fuckin funny..HAHA!(i hope she sees dis)...

skool had been ok so far..MISS my frenz like crazy ok..thank god hols is here den can meet up wif them..erm,i dunno wad to write already..i'm a virgin in these bloggin thing ok so ya'll have to pardon me..guess dats all..

fad's told you a secret at 8:52 PM .

i hate my life

fad's told you a secret at 8:14 PM .